Blog

When you first meet someone, you "feel each other out" to see where your lives might connect — where are you from, what do you do, what music/art/books do you like, etc. You are looking for common ground on the basis of which your conversation might proceed. Call this the Basic Game; I'd like to contrast it with two more advanced games that can be played in its stead, or alongside it. In the Importance Game, participants jockey for position. This usually works by way of casual references to wealth, talent, accomplishment or connections, but there are many variants. I can, for instance, play this game by pretending to eschew it: "Let's get straight down to business" can telegraph my being much too important to waste time with such games; or your being so unimportant as to render the game...